Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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