Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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