You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
