Kiss
Puke
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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