Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
where are you?
Hypothermia
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
