Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
