the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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