fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
