I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
