That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
