I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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