No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
