if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.