her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.