I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder