Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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