careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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