they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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