Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
