i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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