I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
