I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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