i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
