when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
