you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
