I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
