i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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