It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize