she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
