i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize