She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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