Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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