Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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