i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize