Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
