A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
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When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
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We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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