yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
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I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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