I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize