You made me cry and you don't even care
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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