He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
