Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
