just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
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They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.