Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.