Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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