No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
