if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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