he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
