Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
