I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
