Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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