I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
