So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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