Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
