1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
