I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
