Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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