I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
