I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize