whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
