Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
