So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
