I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
